Yup I do not lie, I got an email telling me this was National Handbag Day and showing me what I needed to buy to celebrate.  I’m not buying but please join me in celebrating this auspicious holiday.  Yeah sure!

I’m not very handbag savvy so here are three I would chose if I had the $$$$$.  Who said boring???????

 

I’ve coined an new phrase to describe my incessant complaining about the most trivial things in my life;

NATTER WAILING.

I’ll see if it catches on so be sure to use it in a sentence when thinking of me.

Cat_crying,jpg

Prompt: Heart & Need

Blood so dark near black

Filling cavities of four

It’s what the heart needs

Heart

Post for SMM contest “Night Clings”

Green eyes burn with red

pointed black ears and long claws

cat or night demon?

RedGreeneye

Willy with a thirst for gore,

nailed his sister to the door.

Mother said with humor quaint;

“Willie Dear don’t scratch the paint.”

*****

In the family drinking well,

Willie pushed his sister Nell.

Mother lost her darling daughter,

now we sterilize our water.

****

Willie found some dynamite,

didn’t understand it quite.

Curiosity never pays,

it rained Willie ten whole days.

****

Father nailed his darling wife

fast to the parquet flooring.

He was loathed to take her life

but he had to stop her snoring.

****

With a wink and a nod to “ruthless rhymes” these are my remembrances of poems I found it a joke book from my childhood.  I think it was printed in the 1930s, though Little Willies come from the very early 1900s but these have cracked me up since I read them as a child, so for my finale here is the last one I remember.

Making toast by the fireside,

Nurse fell in the fire and died.

What makes matters 10 times worse,

all the toast was burned with Nurse.

****

NIGHTIE BYES ALL.

 

The First Thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue

-Dorothy Parker  dorothy-parker1

I just got back from checking on my  sister’s animals, FOR MONEY, I don’t do this for my health.

The youngest kitten was on a roll to get outside again, so “HE” had to keep him upstairs by standing at the bottom of the stairs with the water bottle.  This kitten hates us.  I locked him in the bathroom one time but he is too quick for that scam again, he only fell for it once.  I’m too old to wiggle enough the keep him in and close the door

There are three dogs; small medium and LARGE, plus two cats; OLD and young and it is becoming more than I can handle.  I’m OLD and fat and can’t move fast.  After picking up pooh and adding water to the little fountain (not to mention keeping the kitten in the condo) I’m exhausted and I have to do this all over again tonight, with the addition of feeding all 5 lunch mouths.  Cats in but Dogs out is just getting to hard for this old lady.

Thinking and typing for a living was a lot easier than this physical stuff.  I worry about tonight’s duties.  I’d be laughable if I wasn’t so pathetic!Linus-04-17

Biggest Linus

Look alike littlest though this one is at least at rest unlike my restless wanta go out Max

MadMax

CatExcersise

MartiniMaiden