Willy with a thirst for gore,

nailed his sister to the door.

Mother said with humor quaint;

“Willie Dear don’t scratch the paint.”


In the family drinking well,

Willie pushed his sister Nell.

Mother lost her darling daughter,

now we sterilize our water.


Willie found some dynamite,

didn’t understand it quite.

Curiosity never pays,

it rained Willie ten whole days.


Father nailed his darling wife

fast to the parquet flooring.

He was loathed to take her life

but he had to stop her snoring.


With a wink and a nod to “ruthless rhymes” these are my remembrances of poems I found it a joke book from my childhood.  I think it was printed in the 1930s, though Little Willies come from the very early 1900s but these have cracked me up since I read them as a child, so for my finale here is the last one I remember.

Making toast by the fireside,

Nurse fell in the fire and died.

What makes matters 10 times worse,

all the toast was burned with Nurse.