I’ve been waiting over 2 months for my medical insurance  to refer me to a psychiatrist so that I can get my medication refills. (I quit the last one because I’m angry, don’t like the medication she put me on, and evidently “Don’t TeleMedicine” well and since my PCP told me she could refer me within my medical insurance program…I broke off all ties with this other behavioral center)

Well after a series of problems with getting an appointment through my medical insurance; I was told Thursday their Psych can’t per scribe for me because of my alcoholism and that I’m up shit creek regarding prescriptions renewals.  I only take two behavioral medications, all the rest are for medical conditions which I can get refilled, but I can’t get those two renewed, don’t have a referral to a Psych that will refill my scripts and TALK to me about my perception of their effects and was told to just go “cold turkey”.  The Psych from my medical insurance company told me it would only make me fill ill for a day or two and that eventually they will refer me to an “outside” Psych.

She they Psych I waited 2 months to see also called in the suicide team as I told her I was getting so fed up with this situation and my life in general that I was thinking more and more about it.  My last behavioral center, canceled  my weekly meetings for help with fighting depression because the new counselor that was coming in could better be utilized than to supervise these welly meetings.  That was the final straw and why I severed ties with them; that and because my PCP said she could arrange for a new Psychiatric to take over my medication supervision.

The intervention team determined I was not immediate threat to myself or others and gave me a lot of resource information for contacts regarding my alcohol dependence (AA isn’t working well for me; I’m an atheist and prefer talking with professionals that can give explanations instead of just being repeatedly told that I need to access my higher power and asking me to pray)  I’m not quitting AA, I just feel I need more.

However the team understood my fear and crying regarding the “cold turkey” routine and kept on at the doctor’s where I was at; to give me some sort of plan about what my medical insurance company would do for my behavioral problems which they felt I also had.

In fact one of the woman told the doctor that she realized I needed dependency help but actually felt I might be using alcohol to mask or relief my behavioral problems.  I felt they were on my side, particularly when the doctor left the room again and I thanked them for their help.  They told me they were sticking around until I stopped getting the run around from the Psychiatrist.  Finally, the doctor returned and said my PCP’s office (her office on certain days too but to work me in emergency since they had taken over 6 weeks to schedule me with a Psychologist not a Psychiatrist) any way that office would call me tomorrow with a referral and an appointment with an outsourced Psychiatrist who could prescribe for me even if I had a dependency problem.  However, for now it was “cold turkey”.

I felt I was getting the run around particularly since all of this could have been said over two months previously when I still had refills.  I waited all the next day, yesterday Friday.  NO CALLS.  Finally when I called them about 3pm, they said they couldn’t find a referral doctor for me and would get back to me on Monday.

They did call me back in less than 45 minutes after that and told me to go to a Crisis Center to get a month’s worth of meds AND NOT GO COLD TURKEY, no matter what and that the only Psychiatrist they could find who would help me was back at the Behavioral Center where I had been going before.  You know the one I quit and they subsequently “fired” me by mail.  Get to EAT CROW HERE but at least it is a referral.  Of course I had to do all the follow up calling but I guess that only makes sense.

Soooooo after many frantic calls on my own, I’m being evaluated for alcohol dependence and then referred to outpatient therapy on January 30th.  I’m going back to eat crow at me last Behavioral Center and then, after a new evaluation will be referred to one of their two doctors for medications.  Hopefully not the TeleMedicine one that I was fighting with.

As for now, I’m getting dressed and will make a kamikaze run to the Crisis Center I was finally told about at about 4pm yesterday to renew my meds so I won’t have to go cold turkey.

I am, therefore I cry.   Not in Dispair~~dru~~