I AM IN FITS OF LAUGHTER!!!!!

AND IT IS GREAT BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN A LONG LONG TIME.

 MY NAME IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT THAN MOST PEOPLE’S NAMES, NOT THAT THERE ARE NOT A LOT OF DRUSCILLAS OUT THERE…CALIGULA’S DAUGHTER, CINDERELLA’S EVIL STEP SISTER, AND SUPPOSEDLY SOME AWFUL PERSON IN THE BIBLE…also a vampire on “Buffy”  

IT IS JUST THAT YOU DON’T ENCOUNTER THE NAME EVERY DAY AND NOT OFTEN WITH THE SPELLING THAT INCLUDES;  THE S & C.

 ANYWAY WHEN I WAS IN ABOUT 6TH GRADE, MY MOTHER WAS GETTING A CAKE FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND SHE WANTED  IT INSCRIBED…HAPPY BIRTHDAY DRUSCILLA.  THE PERSON AT THE BAKERY WROTE THE INSCRIPTION ON WAX PAPER……..THIS WAS A LONG LONG TIME AGO……AND THE ICING ARTIST  JUST COULDN’T BELIEVE IT AND CALLED MY MOTHER TO VERIFY THAT SHE WANTED THE CAKE INSCRIBED…

”HAPPY BIRTHDAY DRACULA”

 MY MOTHER FIXED THE ERROR BUT TOLD ME ABOUT IT AND I GOT HYSTERCAL (WITH LAUGHTER NOT TEARS) AND DEVELOPED AN EVEN GREATER AFFECTION FOR THAT BAT.; ONE THAT STILL FOLLOWS ME TO THIS DAY.

 I HAVE HAD OVER MY ADULT LIFE TIME A SERIES OF FRIENDS (MOSTLY WOMEN) THAT GET TOGETHER FOR BIRTHDAY BRUNCHS.  FOR A FEW YEARS THE 8 OR MORE OF US WOULD MEET FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN MONTHS SINCE ALL OF US HAD SPOKEN (this was way before eMails and FaceBook) AND WE COULD SPEND OVER 3 HOURS TELLING OUR STORIES WITH OMELETS, ENCHELLADAS, CORN MUSH, FLAN, AND CHAMPAIGNE. 

 BECAUSE OF MY AFORE MENTIONED STORY WE’D CALL THESE MEET AND EATS

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY DRACULA”

 AT ONE TIME I ACTUALLY CONSIDERED TRYING TO WRITE A PLAY ENTITLED THAT, INCORPORATING VARIOUS OF THE AKWARDLY, RABIDLY, AWFULLY, OR JUST PLAIN HYSTERICAL STORIES OF ALL THE OTHERS, INTO LITTLE  VIGNETTES WHICH WOULD COMPRISE THE WHOLE PLAY BUT OF COURSE I NEVER DID AND OF COURSE THIS RITUAL HAS GONE THE WAY OF MOST ARCHAIC RITUALS ……bye bye.

        However my birthday is fast approaching, as well as the end of my life, and I just got a call from a creditor where the “OUTSOURCED” collector asked for…NO WAIT EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW.

 “MAY I SPEAK TO DRACULA PLEASE”

 Hee hee hee!!!

 

ps there is no reason i hate the bomb in the article but of course i do; i just thought it was a funny title.  Be careful with your bodily fluids!